Breaking Sleep Co-Dependency

Breaking a sleep co-dependency between two kids (3 1/2 & 2 years old) sleeping in the same room.

Scenario

In July we took an 8 day vacation of the northwest where we stayed in various homes of family. Some nights Grace & Abraham slept a mere 12 inches away from each other.The challenge became creating a quite place without distractions for them to sleep without them entertaining each other.

At home we have placed a curtain between them which had worked wonderfully before our trip. On occasion we would catch Grace out of her bed entertaining Abraham. With minor disciplining actions they would get to sleep at a reasonable hour.

Issue

Right after our trip the kids adjusted right back to their normal sleep habits in their room. Recently Grace has been getting out of bed more often and going to Abraham’s side of the curtain to entertain him. Two nights in a row they did not go to sleep till 8-9:00 p.m.. We knew we needed to do something different because simply getting on Grace for getting out of bed was ot working. After rereading some sections in the sleep book we came up with “operation re-sleep train”

Operation Re-Sleep Train

One of these nights and in some previous times we noticed that Abraham would take longer to fall asleep than Grace. Abraham went into Grace’s room shortly after sleeping through the night. So he has always had someone to go to bed with. He is dependent on Grace to fall asleep.

Our Rules

  • Abraham goes to bed at 6:00 p.m. after a relaxing bath
  • Say’s goodnight to Heather and Grace in the living room
  • Get’s pajamas on and into bed while trying to keep the mood calm and "not fun"
  • The first time he starts crying, after 5 minutes, one parent goes in mechanically to soothe him.
  • The second time he starts crying, after 10 minutes, one parent goes in mechanically to soothe him.
  • The third time he starts crying, after 15 minutes, one parent goes in mechanically to soothe him.
  • After each time you keep adding 5 more minutes until he falls asleep.
  • Grace goes to bed at 7:00 p.m. in out bedroom then goes into her room with Abraham after he has been quiet for more than 30-45 minutes.
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WHAT TO DO NOW?

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One Comment

  1. Robert added these pithy words on 13 September 2009 | Permalink

    As mentioned in August we needed to break the co-dependency sleep habits of Grace & Abraham. We are a month into it and over has gone well.

    Results

    * The first night Abraham cried quite a bit. I had to go in 6 times to soothe him. He was out by 8:00 p.m. which was sooner than he had been falling asleep with Grace in the room. Grace also had trouble going to sleep in our room.
    * The second night, Abraham only had to be soothed at the 5 minute mark and was quietly talking for about 15-20 minutes before he was quiet. Grace was still awake when we went to move her at 8:00 p.m. Not what we planned on.
    * After the first week they both started falling asleep in their rooms within about 20-45 minutes.
    * Currently we are still putting them to bed separately and moving Grace about 1 hour after Abraham or her have been asleep. There are nights when both will stir as we put Grace in the room with Abraham but they go right back to sleep.

One Trackback

  1. anablepo{blog} » Breaking Sleep Co-Dependency {update one} on 13 September 2009

    [...] mentioned in August we needed to break the co-dependency sleep habits of Grace & Abraham. We are a month [...]

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